i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
