They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
