I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We have started to decorate penises.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
