when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
