i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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