you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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