can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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