Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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