He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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