So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
