am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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