how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
