1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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