did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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