How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
