i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
