Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
