That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
