Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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