Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
