Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
They have beer where we have blood.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
