Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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