i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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