I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
