Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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