She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
