3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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