I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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