She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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