Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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