I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize