I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm at about main and main street
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
