Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i will never coherently bang her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
