we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
