Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize