I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
