grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was like eating out sand paper
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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