What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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