True but thats because hes a fetus.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
