I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
