I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
