He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
