I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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