I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
