Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
