Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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