3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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