Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
