Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
