he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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