I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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