i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
