I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
