i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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