He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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