The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
