If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
