i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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