she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
