Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
