I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
