even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
