I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
