I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
