he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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