But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
