we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
