First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
