i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
