Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
