just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
