When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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